I was thinking as I walked Big Boy this morning that I shouldn’t be admitting to being an ex-dancer and former fitness trainer while announcing to the world that I would rather sit on the couch and eat potato chips than get up and exercise. But a lot of the time that is true! I was also thinking that having been a motivator for others in my life when I was teaching children to dance or when I was creating fitness routines and programs for women with back problems or when I was teaching adults a creative movement class, I should have a significant handle on motivation with an unshakable resolve myself to never falter and never give up. But I don’t. Some days I am a faulty human and I doubt myself!

They say we teach what we need to learn. I think there’s a lot of truth to that. But I think it is actually deeper than that. What we need to learn is our mission and purpose in this lifetime! We experience the imperfections because we must go through them to be able to help others through theirs. I know what it is like to have to remind myself that eating potato chips on the couch for too many hours and too many days in a row will absolutely NOT make me feel like I am physically strong, healthy, and energetic. Nor will it give me that feeling of weightless flight that I used to feel when dancing onstage or even after just having a good cardio workout. When I see that in my mind, and remember the feeling I am able to put down the bag of chips and get up and move or stretch or go for a walk. Now, I am not large or seriously overweight or anything, I just want to feel healthier and have freedom of motion. When I gain a few pounds and my back gets all stiff, I do NOT feel free or healthy.

Same thing for feeling unmotivated or even a little down and out, (or a lot!) There is usually something that I feel discouraged about that is causing the temporary lack of motivation. There is a doubt or a need to prioritize something differently, or communicate something better. Or I am comparing myself to someone else’s success, life, projects, whatever…. When I reconnect with being ME, I realize that I like ME just fine. And I think about the things I like or dream about. And I think about my strengths rather than what I am lacking. And in all that line of thought, I find my power.

You notice I did not say in either scenario that I had to FORCE myself out of the current mood. I used my memory to get out of the immediate craving or doubts and let my desire to feel better and improve something take a natural path out of the negative moments. That is my first message in all this. My second message is this…. All human beings make mistakes, and wonder and doubt and slide backward or falter from time to time. It is natural. Confidence is real and it comes from experiences. It is not arrogance. It is much deeper than that arrogance or cockiness that sits on the surface of those who are afraid to look deeper into their own failures or even perhaps their own identity. Even great men and women doubt and question themselves before they find resolution which often comes in bits and pieces. Martin Luther King Jr. stood at the doorway to the stage he walked out on just prior to his “I Have A Dream!” speech and he questioned himself and how to get his message across to everyone. He told a dear friend of mine at that moment so long ago, “I had a dream last night that children of all colors were playing together.” He then described the actual dream to my friend and all that he felt about it and then admitted to him, “I don’t know how to get this across to them!”. My friend replied, “You go out there on that stage and you say, ‘I have a dream….’ and then you tell them exactly what you told me just now. That’s it. That’s all. And the rest is history. True story. Do not fear or be stopped by your doubts or even your failures. They are leading you to something more.

It is human and it is men and women of greatness who can question themselves, be imperfect, and doubt themselves and wonder, seek help, accept direction, feel fear and then go out and do great things that wind up resolving the doubts and the flaws and weaknesses, usually after taking action, not before! So I don’t care if it is potato chips on a couch or moments of self-doubt on a stage behind a podium or on a basketball court, or if it is something much deeper and unresolved in one’s life. What matters is our ability to see ourselves and our struggles accurately by looking in the mirror and then taking actions to move through it, in spite of it all. That is when we change the things that are holding us back from our happiness and our personal goals or from the greater mission in our lives.

So today I went for that walk. I took Big Boy with me. He is a big sturdy dog who I rescued a few years ago. I was in pain because my back was hurting and my leg was reacting to it, badly. And I honestly thought I would stumble and fall. I decided to push through it and move anyway. And Biggie was there for comfort or to steady myself if needed. I envisioned myself walking with strength and purpose and shed the feeling of fear of stumbling and spraining my foot, as I had done once before. I may not be flying through the air on some stage with an orchestra playing and the excitement of an audience out there anymore. And I may be acutely aware of missing that time in my life and the ability I once had. But I don’t have to take it sitting down! So I walked.

So be real. Look deep. Accept who and where you are. But keep moving forward…..